What’s your group chat like?
Group chats are like five-a-side teams. Everyone’s in one, but only half of the team shows up on the day. But what does showing up actually look like?
For the game, showing up means braving the minus 20 degrees of Scottish summertime and facing the dragon’s breath friction burns of dodgy astroturf.
In your group chat, it means looking out for each other, and making sure your friends aren’t making a fool of themselves – and women and girls.
Most of the time, it’s the usual messages taking the mick out of each other. But every now and then, something might land in the chat that doesn’t quite sit right.
An inappropriate comment about a woman. A photo that shouldn’t have been shared. A joke that gets a few laughing emojis, even though you know it’s not actually funny. Or someone making light of sexual violence, as if it’s just another thing to have a laugh about.
In those moments, it’s easy to think “someone else will say something”. But what happens when everyone thinks the same thing? Nothing happens.
Your group chat isn’t just where you message your mates. It’s where your group sets the standard for what’s acceptable.
When sexist comments, unwanted sexual behaviour or jokes about sexual violence are ignored, they can start to feel normal and when nobody challenges them, it can seem like everyone agrees.
Calling someone out doesn’t have to mean writing a full essay, starting an argument or kicking someone out the chat.
Most of the time a simple “Come on mate.”, “Bit out of order” or “Nah, that’s not on.” could be enough to make a mate think twice.
You might feel awkward for a few seconds but that’s better than letting something harmful slide because you don’t want to be the guy who says something.
And hey – you may be surprised by the mates who follow your lead.
When you challenge misogyny, you show the boys and men around you what you think is acceptable. You create a culture where women and girls are treated with respect and where sexual violence isn’t dismissed as a joke.
That’s what decent mates do. They keep each other right.
You are a role model. Be a decent one.
Your actions set the standard for others. Stop sexual violence before it starts.
Support
You can find advice and information on the Police Scotland website.
Call Police Scotland on 101. In an emergency always call 999.