Fit Check: What does a role model look like?
Okay, so you only have 300 followers on Instagram. You might even still have the same 6 mates, 3 of which you’ve known since Primary 1. But your power of influence is much stronger than this. Probably far bigger than you realise.
Brothers. Cousins. Mutuals on socials. Second cousins. That stranger you always see in gym at the same time, no matter when you go. Workmates. Mates of mates. Mates of mates of mates who your mate promised to be ‘prime Iniesta’ but sends the ball immediately into orbit with his first touch.
Whether you like it or not, you are a role model. What you do and say sets an example for those around you offline and online. And more people are watching than you necessarily think. As a result, the knock-on effect can be devastating. Especially for women and girls.
The good news is you don’t have to be perfect to be a change for good. You just have try your best, and make small, positive changes.
What a good role model looks like
Listens and learns
Good role models don’t pretend to get everything right. We all make mistakes, and that’s part of life. Role models take responsibility when they get something wrong, are brave enough to apologise when they step out of line and try to learn from it and do better. If you wake up in the middle of the night cringing at the fact you used to drop offensive pick-up lines or whistle at girls as they walked past, that’s a sign of progress, not shame.
Does the right thing even when no one is looking
Like Batman. Not in the sense that you cut about in a cape but that you do the right thing, even in the shadows. Being good isn’t a performance. It’s not about praise, or recognition. Whether it’s how you speak to women or about them when they’re not around, what you share online or comment anonymously. Maybe it’s not clicking a link or image that you know isn’t meant for you. This is what gives you integrity, and integrity is what earns genuine respect.
Treats everyone with respect
The fact of the matter is, you’re probably not going to get on with everyone. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is putting women down or berating them, even if they are saying things that you disagree with. If you’re speaking with a girl, and they don’t want to give you the time of day, that’s their choice. A positive role model respects their decision and moves on without lowering themselves.
Speaks up when something isn’t right
If the behaviour of a mate or someone you know around women is unacceptable, you don’t have to start a drama. It’s not about being a ‘hard man’ and throwing yourself in headfirst. What’s important is making sure that you step in. Whether it’s sending them a private DM, speaking to them when they’re alone, or checking in the next day, there is a way to softly step in and have a word.
‘Ach, well I don’t want to overstep’. Fortunately for you, we have some tips on How to step in without overstepping.
You are a role model. Be a decent one.
Your actions set the standard for others. Stop sexual violence before it starts.
Support
You can find advice and information on the Police Scotland website.
Call Police Scotland on 101. In an emergency always call 999.